Falling head over heels,
thought i knew how it feels,
but with you
its like the first day
of my life.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006
8:18 pm ♥ shit you babe.


im feeling very down now.
im not trying to sound pathetic but.. i cried.
i wanted to be stronger. i dont wanna cry so easily anymore.
i dont wanna be seen as a weak loser. i know i can make it through the "rain".
i disappointed myself. yet again. and again.

i dont know if i've got depression. or some mental distress.
i just feel so down all of a sudden and can laugh the next minute.
i am beginning to suspect that i have double personality and its no joke. hehe. (LOOK!)
please someone tell me whats going on. i think its driving me nuts.

i dont know why i cant control my laughter. AND my tears.
i hate this. i hate the way i laugh so hysterically (esp during maths lesson) when im trying to concentrate.
i hate being the joker all time.
ESPECIALLY when people dont appreciate me for doing what i am NOT supposed to do.
im only trying to entertain them LAH.
and look at the shit i get. and now they think im nuts. and they take me for granted.
buti am only human. and i do feel sad too.
and they say all the shit to hurt me and expect to me face it with a fugging SMILE.
and you think i can? sorry. i can try, but most of the time, no.
and when i stop talking and feel sad about it, they say im trying to "ATTITUDE" them.
and when i rebuke that im what what what, they tell me to shut up.
then get angry and WAIT/EXPECT me to apologise and pacify the shit outta them.
and am i obliged to do so?
no, not in my term.
yet i went ahead and try and make them happy. and what do i get?
more and more shit. over and over again.
i know shit happens. but not so often right?!

im getting sick of this.
i rather they hate me for who i am. than to like me for who im not.

please learn how to appreciate what you have.
and learn to give and take.

and to you.
please reflect. i hate your attitude. it sucks.
and please mind what you say- it HURTS. :)

end of story.
off to meet vanessa.
thats who i call my true mate.
ONE WHO CAN STUDY WITH ME EVEN THOUGH SHE KNOWS IM NOT THE STUDY TYPE. i appreciate her for that man. thanks sweetaye.

bye.