Falling head over heels,
thought i knew how it feels,
but with you
its like the first day
of my life.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007
11:57 pm ♥ hey babe, lets be emo today.


Pictures first,
i wanted to upload more but i dont know whats wrong with blogger/imageshack/the internet,


ziqi and me, pre photoshoot. (:


Fang and me, in kenny's adidas jacket. i like that! HAHA!



cheryl and me(: pigging out somewhere. :D


* * * * * * * * * *



i am seriously considering to switch to livejournal/wordpress or something else, because damn blogger has been giving me A LOT of problems lately. whatever, really.


Recently im like so troubled.
Im like, emo(tional) 1/2 the time, perhaps stoning or having sad thoughts the other half.
Sometimes i ask myself why i let myself get into this endless emo cycle,
sadly most of the time i dont have the answer.

Its either i get affected by others, or something of the sort.
Maybe i can blame the weather. Its so gloomy, its hard to be happy. Something like that.

Today isn't a good day,
mainly because of what happened in accounting.

Sometimes people just dont think, they just say what they want.
they dont even bother to think if it is hurting to others or whatever.
these people should really disappear, really.

i told this girl to jiayou for presenting the accounting tutorial cos she went up alone,
i wasnt feeling very good at this point of time already, but i tried, i did, i cheered her up,
just because she looked a little jittery and something of the sort.
and guess what she told me?
"it doesnt matter."


HELL.
that moment i swear, i felt so hurt.
what is that supposed to mean? i dont know what you are trying to say,
but i feel like youre trying to tell me i dont matter that much,
and saying or not, it doesnt make a difference.

why?
just because i didnt want to sit with you all,
because its troublesome to carry tables here and there?
just because i didnt contribute to the tutorial question because it was "group work"?

whatever it is,
you hurt me. if that is your point, congratulations.
i shouldn't be bothered anyway, because "it doesnt matter".

BEFORE THAT,
at computer skills class,
i saw how my clover got irritated by this other girl.
i mean, actually i shouldnt be talking about this since she isnt bothering me,
but i just cant take it down,
that you are irritating my friend, when she is (obviously) feeling rather down.

i mean,
at that point of time, i just felt like throwing the laptop in her face.
to ask her to shut the hell up. but i know that is wrong, so i kept quiet.
and she went on and on and on.

i mean,
HELLO, sometimes you should just know when to stop.
its plain irritating some times, and please catch my hint when i said it isnt funny.
dont come blaming us or act like youre so a victim,
when you dont shut your trap in the first place.

sometimes i wonder how a person can end up like that.
i mean, so an irritant to people? like please, get a (maybe two, or more) LIFE!
please. O_O


AND,
all th projects are seriously driving me crazy. REALLY.
one day i swear i will breakdown. these days. maybe.

YESTERDAY,
went to eat dinner with clovers and chuan lian, yummy.(:
cheryl and i had a super great laugh when we walked to the 72 bus stop. haha!


before that we saw chocolate bar,
cheryl called out his name and SUBCONSCIOUSLY (i swear) i raised up my hand to say hi but realised its kinda awkward since i dont know him well, so i let my hand down, midway. yeah it was so comical. and i started drawing circles on my leg cos i dont know where to position my hand.


and that was just so paiseh. i rant on it like on and on for the next 15minutes or so. haha!
but nevermind, its over.


- - - - - - - - - -


haha.
oh no im starting to get emo.


sometimes i wish i could just cry it all out, and maybe cry it all over.
sometimes i wish we could just be friends.
sometimes i wish i didnt have friends like that.
sometimes i wish i had known clovers earlier.
sometimes i hope life wouldnt screw up.
sometimes i hope i can laugh again,


from the bottom of my heart.

sometimes i wish.


anyway clover3,
please take care and get well soon okay!
lets be happier. :)
tomorrow will be a better day!


(sounds weird that its coming out of someone who's emo, too. ha.)


TOMORROW WILL BE A BETTER DAY! :)